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Bad, so very, very bad. - Personal reviews of bad romance novels

Sep. 14th, 2007

09:33 am - Bad, so very, very bad.

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Disclaimer: Even if I did write this I wouldn't admit it. But I don't own this it belongs soley to the author and her publisher.
Author's name:Ronda Thompson

Title of book:The Dark One I should have known just by the title it was going to be bad.

Hero's name:Armond Wulf

His eyes colour: No idea but I'd bet dark

Hair colour: Same as above

Title/nickname (If any):Marquess of Wulfglen, Earl of Bumont.

Friends/family:three brothers. Gabriel, Jackson, and Sterling Hee, his parents wanted money, not another son.

Reason for living (ie is he avenging the death of a loved one, is he a spy or is just a man-whore?): To be angsty, brooding, emo, sad, mad, depressed :humm, I need to go get a thesaurus just to find more words for super duper depression.:

Heroin's name: Rosalind Rutherford

Her eye colour: The purest shade of violet and they are slanted.

Her Hair colour:The colour of midnight. I kid you not it says that.

Title/Nickname (if any): Didn't get that far before I threw the book across the room.

Friends: Again didn't get that far.

Reason for living (is she the only virgin left in regency England, or the first women's activist in Medieval England?) She's trying to get from under the control of her sadistic brother. Really that's what it says on the back.

An example of why this book is a Bodice ripper (Or just a plain crappy book):
Just so you know I only read the first chapter before I decided it wasn't worth my time and effort. Even books by Feehan I usually at least skim though them and I hate her books. This one well I'll let it speak for itself.

Chapter one
Page 1
His heart was the deepest, darkest chasm of hell Holy crap I thought the Dark series by Feehan was all about ansgy. A cold, bitter place where dreams and hopes had long since been laid to rest Why doesn't he just write dark poetry in his own blood already?. And without dreams, without hope, why did he bother Yes why bother? Do us all a favor and and eat some foxglove oops I gave up the plot, he's a werewolf la gasp with a last name like Wulf no one ever would have guessed it!?

Page5 the first meeting between the two

"Lord Wulf?" Erm his last name is Wulf his title is Wulfglen. I hate when authors don't get basic aristocracy facts right.
The sound of his name being spoken interrupted Armond's conversation with the dowager. The lady who had spoken stood behind him and her voice raised the hackles on the back of his neck Hackles? giggle, I think this is the author trying to be subtle about what poor Armond is. Something in her time, the softness of it, the slightly husky texture of it, flowed over and around him Ha! the author was watching Andromeda, it's a prayer there. Something about pain washing over and around him and leaving him. God I'm such a geek! inside of him, and touched a nerve I pinched a nerve and it hurt like hell, when I fell in love with my husband it felt good..really good. He turned slowly and came face-to-face with ruin :Snort: :Giggle: What did the author wake up one day and say "Gee I wonder how cheesy I make make a book and still sell it?".
Whoever this vision in white was before him, she was pure sin packaged deceitfully in the guide of innocence I'm not sure is this is a good thing or a bad thing. She sounds like chocolate, tasty, yummy but bad for you. If ever a woman that existed who could make a man forget his principles, his pledges, his dark promises, this was the one Better kill it before it multiplies. Armonds's blood turned to fire, his groin tightened No words. I have no words for that statement, and heaven help the lady, she managed to do what no one before her had accomplished. In the space of a heartbeat, she totally captivated him Gah I hate love at first sight or lust at first site. I may not be a man but I think even a man has to have more than three seconds before he wants to shag someone :Shrugs:.

That's as far as I got with this. I was so disgusted with this I literally threw it across the room. I scared my poor cat and she was already traumatized from when my bird attacked her. I think I should sue Ms. Thompson for her therapy.

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